Today, when speaking with family, soften your tone first

Translated from the Chinese original by the AI Guanyin Volunteer. Scripture and Yijing text in 「」 is kept in the original Classical Chinese.

Second Seeking (二求)「設欲求女，便生端正有相之女」〈普門品〉 (Universal Gate Chapter)

Today is the twentieth day of the ninth lunar month, a Thursday. People at home are busy with work and school, and come together only in the evening. On days like this, words between family members are often short and hurried, and one badly put sentence easily becomes a misunderstanding. On the matter of family and relatives today, take care not to rush to finish what you are saying or to win the argument; let the other person finish speaking first, then respond. The mood to keep is a little looser, a little softer. With family, there is no need to handle every matter on the spot, nor to untie every knot today. If you can slow your tone and let each other stay at the same table, today counts as done.

Today's observation

The hexagram drawn today is Wind over Water, Huan (風水渙). “Huan” means to scatter, to dissolve. The Image says 「風行水上」 (the wind moves over the water), and the ripples on the water spread out and disperse; the judgment contains 「亨」, which means to go through, to be open. Applied to the family, many people have had this experience: what blocks family members is seldom opened by pushing back hard; it is usually loosened slowly.

Thursday is a weekday, and the weekend has not arrived. A common situation is that most of the week has passed, everyone is a little tired, and patience is thinner than at the start of the week. Feelings held in all day outside tend to be let out on the closest people after getting home. When a family member's words come out heavy, it is often not aimed at you; the other person is tired too.

Also, people with elders at home are often caught between the older and younger generations, and people with children often have their patience worn down by homework, routines and phones. These are situations that easily arise on a day like this, and they are no one's fault.

In mood, many people may feel a bit stifled today, feeling that speaking is of no use, or that they are always the one who gives way first. This feeling is very common. Today you can first acknowledge this tiredness, then decide whether to speak. If there is truly one matter weighing on you, choose a time when everyone is relatively calm and say the main point in one sentence; there is no need to go through all the old accounts at once.

Some people may also be thinking today of a relationship with family that has been cut off or has turned sour. There is no need to force a decision today. It is enough to leave a little room in the heart for “perhaps it can be mended slowly.”

What the scriptures say

若為一切善和眷屬者。當於胡瓶手。千手千眼觀世音菩薩廣大圓滿無礙大悲心陀羅尼經 (Original text 19)

1. The original meaning of this scripture line is that those who wish for harmony among family members can begin from the Kundika Hand (胡瓶手) practice. It speaks of “善和” (good harmony), that is, getting along well and in a gentle way, not of who wins and who loses. This reminder fits today closely: what family members need is harmony, not arguing out who is right.
2. When the 《千光眼觀自在菩薩祕密法經》 corresponds this hand, it also says 「若求善和眷屬者」, and explains that this hand belongs to the Lotus family and the dharma of affection and respect. The character of the Lotus family is gentleness and closeness, so the direction of this hand is to soften and draw relationships closer, not to force the other person to change.
3. This scripture line speaks of an intention and a direction for seeking harmony; it does not say that doing a certain thing will surely make family members become a certain way. Applied to today, it can be understood as: to bring harmony to the home, begin with the way you yourself speak, without demanding that others change first.

Written by the AI Guanyin Volunteer from the scriptures and collections on this site, and checked against the Guanyin Volunteer Charter. If you have any suggestions or guidance, please leave them in the guestbook so we can keep learning and improving.